The Cheater

Apparently, online dating sites are breeding grounds for infidelity. I'm talking like.. wait, I'm sorry- did you forget to mention you had a wife? In the past month, I've had interactions with not one.. but count 'em TWO, men who have just forgotten to mention their significant others. Let me start from the beginning:

First, there was Z.. the goofy red-head football coach.. ( I know, I know.. ANOTHER coach, go figure.) His friend was actually the culprit in setting us up. He sent me a message about how i just HAD to meet his friend. So meet, we did. We totally hit it off.. and spent many a late night laughing on the phone together until the wee morning hours. I was smitten. Until... wait for it... he blew me off with the explanation of "too much going on in his life that I don't know about." Seriously?! A month later, I still hadn't stopped thinking about what could have been with Z. Enter Z back into my life. Only this time, bearing the truth. Seems, he has a LDR with a girl in PA. Whaaaaat? Yep. It's true. I guess he figured he'd just test the waters? I played along for a brief minute.. longer than I'd like to admit, really.. with the idea that maybe.. just maybe, we we were meant to be. And he just needed to see what he was missing. After a risky little game of, I bet i'll do things your girlfriend won't do.. i'm still not quite sure it was in my best interest. He and I still talk, but clearly boundaries have been set. Obvi, he just wants to eat his cake and have it too. (that's right.. i changed it. I think it makes more sense that way :) )

Enter T. We have been emailing each other for a little over a month. And no, I don't believe that's the best plan of action when it comes to online dating. I believe in getting in and getting out fast. Only real way to test chemistry. The last thing you need is to fall for a guy, meet him in person, and realize he has a mickey mouse voice. Nothankyou. Anyways, back to T. He is moving to the boro permanently in January but was up for a week to get things in order. We totally had a connection over email. I noticed along the way that there were a few things that I was unsure about. I felt he was being a bit secretive, but he chalked it up to having a bad online experience in the past and found it necessary to be cautious. Okay, I could buy that. Apparently, I was buying everything he was selling. Fast forward a month. Due to some super savvy investigative skills by a friend, turns out T is ... wait for it... MARRIED. Not only married, but he lied about his last name.. and pretty much everything else. The kicker? He still wants to be friends. Sure, Liars make the BEST friends.. didn't you know?

So here I sit. Still single. Still scorn. Completely and utterly disgusted by the male race. What could I possibly do for some sort of relief? Delete any and all online dating accounts, of course. Done and done. Now.. on to the hard part. ACTUALLY meeting people in real life. How does this work again?

When in doubt: meddle.

I have a friend. We'll call her T. She had gone through a horrible engagement break up from someone who turned out to be the exact opposite of the kind of man that deserved her. T wasn't looking for love. She wasn't looking for a boyfriend. So, what did I do? Made her an online profile complete with a quite accurate summary of who she is written by yours truly. I know, I know. You're probably thinking.. "you did what?!" She didn't love the idea at first. But, but, but... only a few days in, I found the guy. He was perfect. His profile may has well have said.. Suddenly seeking T. That was it. They were going to have to meet. So, I did what any meddling friend would do. I sent him a "meet me request" which sparked his interest enough to email a brief..."so you wanna meet me huh?" I'll never forget the text i received from T saying, "umm.. why does so and so think I want to meet him." See.. what had happened was... :)

After a few weeks of emails and texts, they finally met. And 4 months later.. they're still dating. What can I say? I really know how to pick 'em.. for other people of course. Finding a decent one for myself? Riiiiight.

On where I've been

So, I haven't posted since July. Mainly because July was when my life started to turn upside down. Let's just say that 2012 will be welcomed with open arms. Also, I started to think that maybe I was jinxing myself. Bad Karma, per se? Here I am.. the single girl making fun of these ridiculous dates. Oh well- here goes another round of "oh no, he didn't's."

Believe it or not...

I actually have no words. Nothing to update. Nothing to complain about. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Is this good or bad? Hmm for lack of anything interesting going on in my life right now, we'll go with bad.

I got stood up by the stood up-ee

No date with Allen last night. Chances are- I think our timing is terribly off. We just may never meet.

Re-date.

This is Allen (the stand up from Sunday night.) We are going out for a drink tonight. Guess he's forgiven me. Update's tomorrow.

I guess my search is over...

I say... lets meetup, lets like each other, lets get pass first base to home-run, lets plan to marry and have kids and our time frame is 2 years. That the plan! So when can we schedule the meetup date? Carlos Well. Atleast he knows what he wants? HA.

Jenn, The Jerk.

I'm a jerk.

I had a date on Sunday lined up. Well, "lined up" as in we said, we should hang out Sunday night! It turns out that it was his birthday. I asked him if he had big weekend plans and he said no. Anyways, he knew I was at the beach and we texted briefly here and there. I even sent a "Happy birthday!" at midnight on Saturday night. So, Sunday rolled around and we left the beach- I sent him a message asking how his day was going.. and he replied "so far so good," no mention of hanging out. I was exhausted when I got back and laid down for awhile.

Fast forward to about 9:30 last night.. where he sent me an email on POF asking how my trip was. I wondered why he would be sending an email and not a text, but whatever. I said it was great.. and asked how his day had been. He said, it would have been better if he wasn't sitting at home alone on his birthday. Ouch.

Apparently, he was under the assumption that I was going to call when I got home (which, I guess would be the logical thing the assume.) And since I didn't, I essentially stood him up. He said he doesn't back out on plans so he was waiting to hear from me, rather than making alternate plans.

There ya have it, folks. I am officially a jerk.

The Facebook Dilemma

"Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!"

I’ve been considering this idea of going on haitus from facebook.. When it all boils down- I realize that it’s the root of all evil. It allows you to cyberstalk- You find yourself learning all you can about So & So, or that person you made out with that one time at that one party you can’t remember in college, or wondering things like hmm.. who is this Busty McSixPack who so & so just befriended? These are details that do not matter- but when they are thrown in your face- somehow they do. Facebook is also the root of my lack of concentration. Hey- i’ve been working for 20 mins straight! I better give myself a break and check my facebook.… and then next thing you know i’m knee deep in a full on cyber stalk.

Take for example my stalking update from last night. It went a little something like this...

Hmm.. wonder what Carter is up to? Let me just check his FB profile. OH! a new update... reading.... "Sometimes I wonder if still knows she was the one who completed me.."

aw well isn't that sweet. Waiiiiit. What??

Here's a clue, guys. IF you're trying to date someone new.. don't make the info so readily available that you're hung up on your ex. I mean, really. Definitely makes you more datable.. not.

So. I decided my best bet was just to ask him. "sooo... about your FB status? Still hung up on an ex?" Ballsy, I know. But I'm not playin' games here... and have no intention of being played... again.

His response?: No. I just liked the quote.

Hmm.. Do I buy it? The verdict is still out. But one thing I'm sure of? That stupid status message has now been removed from his page. Good boy.

Meet Carter

This is Carter. We went for drinks last night at.... wait for it... Hams, of course. I bring all the boys there. :) Anyways- a few hours later, and 4 beers in (and when I say 4, I mean I had 4 and he had one and a half...oops) I started to loosen up a bit. He's a bit different than any other guy i've been out with. I'd say "forward" might be an understatement. He's expressed interest in seeing me again.. but you know, I've heard it all before. Let's see if he has experience in follow through.

Hellooooo Hottie

What a nice way to start my morning. Email just recieved from this slice of yumminess:

I was trying to think of something really cleaver to capture your attention but the truth is I just think you have some amazing eyes. When you get some time, take a look and if you have any interest then it would be great to hear back from you.

Hope you have a great Thursday,
Tyler

Unfortunately, Tyler just relocated from GSO to Wilmington. No long distance relationships wanted here!

no thank you

This. THIS is what is wrong with dating these days. I'm 26. You are...56. Did my profile happen to mention I was looking for a father figure? No? You're right- it didn't. So what in your 56 year old brain told you that you should email to tell me you only date younger women and you wondered if i'd like to grab dinner? Get. a. grip. You, old man, are what is wrong with society today.

HEY! I'M RIGHT HERE!

So, you meet a guy. He's kind of perfect for you. Your friends love him. He is also a photographer. He wears Chucks. You have tons in common. Sounds great, right?

Wrong. He hasn't quite caught on yet.

Why is it the ones I don't want to date will stalk me, and the ones I do don't seem to notice? Such is the single girl dilemma.

The stand up.

Oh, Timmy. Rule number one of dating: If you make plans to hang out.. follow through! No word from him at all yesterday despite our conversation from Monday. Now the question begs: To defriend or not to defriend?? Do I wait a week and see if he comes up with an apology or go ahead and cut the tie.

It's a toughie. But I think he's gonna get the ax. Oh well, maybe I saved myself from that receding hairline, anyways.

It's june.

I suppose it's about time for an update. It's been pretty quiet on the blog front. Let's see.. let's see.. where to begin?

Ah, yes. Chris.. whom I like to refer to as "Raleigh." He's from there. Original, I know. I am always skeptical about long distances.. be it 30 mins away or 2 hours. I lack a ton of free time.. so I'm not a fan of spending a lot of time driving back and forth. Anyways, back to Raleigh. He likes to text. I mean.. a LOT. He never calls, and when I call him, he will text back 10 mins later with a "hey.. just saw you called." Well, no shit, Sherlock. Call a girl back. After nearly two months of this ( i know you're thinking, TWO MONTHS?! are you crazy?- the answer is yes) with no meeting, I had to break up with him. And by break up with him, I mean text him and tell him I no longer wish to receive his text messages asking me what i'm wearing. (<-- lounging in my flannel footies... suuuure i'm wearing a sexy lace bra and panties... puhleeze. )

I particularly loved my conversation with ****. We'll keep his name private for the sake of deushy-ness. Our exchange went a little something like this:

**: Call me.

me: Call you what? ;)

**: my phone, baby.

me: Yes, that was implied, i was kidding. I don't even know you!

**: You'd love me.

me: Oh, is that right? Why do you think that?

**: I'm hung.

me: Well, let's hope that's not the only decent qaulity you have. I think it's clear what you're after.

**: You don't want me?

me: You've gotta be kidding me.

**: nope

me: Does this work for you often?

** nope, lol.

me: Didn't think so.

**: You really will love it.

me: I think we're done here.

THE END.

My 21 year old boyfriend came around for a few days. Something is still awfully sketchy about him. I think i'll tell him to look me up when he hits puberty.

And then... there was Tim. Tim is a slow and steady. After what felt like 100 email exchanges, he FINALLY asked me to have a drink. Jeesh. That was two weeks ago. We're friends on the ole FB, but we haven't really been talking much. He asked me on Monday to go out with him on Thursday. Wait, what day is it? It's Thursday today? No word from Tim? No. Doesn't he know I have standing weekly plans to down a bottle of wine on Thursdays? Obviously not.

The Stand up

Know what's even funnier than dating a 21 year old? Being stood up by one!

It's true, my friends. I got the stand up. Intentional? Not sure. But one thing i'm sure of, I was definitely alone last night.

Can't a girl catch a break? I mean, really.

** this just in:

Text message from Mr. No show. Hey, sorry about last night.. I witnessed that plane crash."

A quick check to his facebook profile, where this girl wrote, "just wanted to remind you how bad I beat you in Monopoly last night."

really? REALLY????????

Hiatus

After waking up to TWO snappy emails from guys that I've talked to a bit, I'm considering a slight hiatus from the website.

The first came from Mr. "in a relationship" on facebook. After he replied that he just "hadn't changed it in years" I lost interest- even after his email to "tell him more about myself." I didn't respond. I recieved an email back this morning saying, "OR just DON'T respond at all." Eek.

Then there was the Burlington guy. Cute. Very athletic. Hunted with Falcons. <-- yeah, I didn't make that up. He runs 8 miles a day. I run only when being chased. I asked if he went out much, and he replied.. "define going out." I didn't reply at all. Email received last night? "Wow, you've already lost interest?" Dang. Give a girl a day or two.

I think I need like a weeks vacation from blind dating.

The Follow Up

Last night was my date with Adam. We went to Hams for dinner and ended up sticking around talking for about two hours. He's definitely a cutie. The age factor was a little tough to get past at first, but now that it's out of the way, I don't think it'll be a big deal.

Not used to the Southern gentlemen personality- might be a nice change. We will see if he remains interested. Lord knows, my two date history might rear it's ugly head.

The Set Up

For as many blind dates as I have been on, tomorrow will be the first set up from a friend. Sabrina and her boyfriend (<-- you like that, Sabs? :) ) decided that I should meet his best friend, Adam. So, through a little scheming from the two of them, he found me on facebook.

Adam is 22.. which is way younger than most of the guys i've been going out with recently. He lives in Charlotte, and we all know how I feel about long distance relationships. He likes to fish and go to races. I hate seafood and could care less about Nascar. But the funny thing is? I'm more excited about this date than I have been about any of the past dates. He is super sweet. He calls and asks how my day has been and I've yet to hear him say a negative comment.

Results to follow.. wish me luck!

To date just to date?

Okay. Here's the dilemma. Date number two with John/Josh was last night. We watched a movie- he held my hand, kissed me goodnight. The problem? A serious lack of chemistry. You know that feeling when the guy you like accidentally brushes your arm and you get butterflies? Yeah, there was all but none of that going on. Could he be in the friend zone? We shall see. Which brings me to my next point. To date just to date.. even when you know that you aren't really interested romantically? I get it, I get it. You're thinking.. well you're single. and he's single. So why not? Well, here's my take:

Single doesn't mean desperate. Single also doesn't mean that you have to like anyone who likes you. This is a common mistake which only results in settling. Why yes, I would like to have a boyfriend. However, that doesn't mean I'll take just any old boyfriend. I want there to be sparks.. and chemistry, and common interests. No, he doesn't have to be my prince charming. I'm a realist, people. But there has to be something there.

Often, I mistake the jerk guys for the right guys, and the nice guys as clingy. I know this about myself. In this case though, I'm thinking that chemistry outweighs a few free dinners. I could eat my words on this later.. but for now? No thanks.

The akward side hug

Can I just say how much I hate a side hug? I mean.. it can be all kinds of awkward. Face to the armpit? Which way to look to avoid an accidental kiss? And the worst of them all, is the car side hug... you know the one I'm talking about. Over the middle console, hands getting caught in seatbelts.

If I could avoid the side hug altogether, I would.

back on track

Yikes, this blog has been horribly neglected. So much has happened since D-bag Corey. Who, by the way, I did end up going out with- and he was just as much a deusch as I suspected.

Then there was Mr. Vogel. He was a high school football coach (naturally) and we went out twice. He was a previous Match guy who turned facebook friend for ohhhh probably a good 8 months before he ever got the balls to ask me out. We went out for drinks the first night, and watched a movie at his house the next. Turns out Mr. Vogel was a sexter. That's right. I said SEXTER. Okay, nothing wrong with a little scandalous fun- however, when you never call again for no reason (and by no reason, i mean literally no reason) it makes me wonder what you were really after. On to the next..

On to Ben. Ben was 32 and from Martinsville. 45 minutes seemed a bit far, but what the hey? We met for dinner one fine Sunday night. Ben said on his profile that he was 5'8". He was definitely 5'5"- which is fine.. just own it. I wore heels.. and would have passed on them had I known what I was in for.

Then there was Drew. Drew was fresh off the plane from PA and we hit it off right away. Met for drinks. Noticing a theme? Yeah- I take all my online boys to the same bar. I bet the bartenders are starting to notice. "That girl gets around." Yeah. around to a lot of FIRST dates. Anyways, back to Drew. Great first meeting- received a text about how much fun he had and asked if we could do it again the following week? "Of course!", I replied. That was two weeks ago and I still haven't heard from Drew. Another one bites the dust...

Moving on to Keller. Keller is new to W-S from Spartanburg and works in Nascar. (Yeah, we all know how much I lurrrrve Nascar.) We exchanged a number of emails and then he asked if he could find me on facebook. Sure! Oh, Keller.. IF you're going to try and date on the side, you might want to make private the fact that you're in a relationship on the good ole' FB. When questioned about his status, his response was that he "hadn't changed it from years ago." I smell a rat.

Then there was John... I mean Josh, I mean John. We went out for drinks last night. John is 26 and works in aviation with a side hustle in photography. Perfect! We went out for a drink (of course) and when we walked in, I ran into an old guy friend from college. Before things got weird after a big hug from Kyle, I decided I should intro him to my date. "Kyle, this is Josh.. wait, this is John, SORRY!" Eek. First rule of dating? Know your dates name. We had lots to talk about and it honestly felt like we had known eachother for a long time. He asked me to hang out again tonight. To be continued....